If you have a food question swirling in your head, who do you ask? Bing!

Bing Reflects On Mum
And Where I Would Bring Her For A Meal In Singapore And In Perth

Who My Mum Seemed To Be
My mum always tried to give us what she wanted and didn’t get as a child - be it attendance of extracurricular activities; going to late or overnight camps and parties; or participating in school events and assemblies. 

My maternal grandfather was a strict, traditional man and a very staunch Christian: girls get less than guys, and outsiders are always more needy. 

But Grandad also believed that girls should have a good education and that’s why he sent my mum at 18 from a small town of East Malaysia, Tawau, to Perth for Senior High School and University.  My mum was well-educated for her cohort.

Gilmore & Damian D'Silva - sample meal from the opening a-la-carte menu

What mum did most of life, however, was aligned with what both my maternal Grandad and my dad believed: that men provided for the home while women had kids and looked after them. Even when we moved back to Perth when I was 13, Mum focused on the home although Dad did the banking, the driving, and all the planning etc for the home. She did eventually join Dad in the small business that Dad founded after I left Perth. They ran the business together until they retired in 2005.

A Deeper Appreciation
But what really gave me more insight on my mum was something that happened in the mid-2010s. We began noticing that Dad was slowing down and that he was not as cognisant of his surroundings as before. We asked his long-time GP what he thought and he said it could be part of aging. 

He was diagnosed with Parkinson’s only after his fall from Level 2 of our home in Perth in 2018. From then on, Mum became the main caregiver.

Laksa from Straits Kitchen, Grand Hyatt

From that moment on, every time I see my mum, I am amazed anew at how resilient and strong she can be. Through all of Covid, she was the main and virtually the only caregiver to my dad. During that time, West Australia was especially strict when it came to international travels; my siblings and I weren’t able to be present and offer physical support.

My first trip back to Perth was April 2022. We hadn’t seen our parents since Chinese New Year of 2020. 

The minute the borders opened, my siblings and I started a monthly ritual where one of us will be physically there for their needs, mostly Dad’s. Throughout, Mum did everything she could for the home.  She took care of all meals, cleaning, gardening, garbage, banking, etc..  We had some help from community care but hiring live-in help was impossible.

From August 2024, Dad’s Parkinson’s disease became more advanced. He had to go to hospital as he had suspected seizures. At this stage, it was impossible to get good quality care at home. He went to aged care (under the Marriott Group) in October 2024.  

My dad has been staying there since. My mum visits him daily, regardless of weather and real-life circumstances. That is how she shows love. There is a bond between them that outsiders like us will not understand. 

Sample dishes from Pizza Bella Roma (credit Pizza Bella Roma via Ubereats)

Throughout this journey, she had and continues to show strength, wisdom, and commitment.  She could (in my mind) be misguided at times by tradition, but she always stood by her husband and provided for his needs whenever she could. This behaviour, this strength of character is incomparable; and profoundly admirable. I learnt a lot from my mum. Family always comes first.

Where I Would Bring Mum If She Was In Singapore
My mum likes local food but also appreciates air-conditioning! Her favourite buffet is the one by The Straits Kitchen at the Grand Hyatt. The Hyatt was closed for renovations for a while, but it is now open again. I will certainly bring her there if she was here.

L-R: Starters (group shot) and Steamed Threadfin Tail from the a-la-carte menu at Gilmore & Damian D'Silva (image credits Gilmore & Damian D'Silva)

Alternatively, I can imagine she will enjoy the offers at Gilmore & Damian D’Silva.  She always enjoyed the Heritage Feasts by Chef Damian. This year, they launched some special Eurasian dishes such as Smoked Pork Knuckle Dalcha, Sambal King Prawns and Chicken Vindaloo for Mother’s Day. Mum had nasi lemak by Damian a few years back, and she found it very good. I am sure she will be excited to eat Damian’s food again.

What We’d Do if We Are In Perth
Actually, I will be in Perth for Mother’s Day this year and have already started planning the day!

Saint Honore pastry from Maison Saint Honore (image credit Maison Saint Honore)

I will order some French pastries for my mum from Maison Saint Honore to start the day. Then we will visit my dad at his aged care facility before proceeding to dinner. In my mind, it could be Japanese or Italian:

• If Japanese, I will ask her what she wants, but inevitably – per previous responses! – it would consist of some sushi roll, aburi nigiri, and tempura. 
• If Italian, we’d most likely to an old-school Italian spot, Pizza Bella Roma. My mum likes the chilli mussels there, and the garlic bread. Those will be on the menu alongside plenty of pasta, pizza and a fresh salad.